(c) 2007 New Radio Star, INC.

Final update at 11:42pm PDT

We begin with the top four headline stories...

BODY OF JESSE DAVIS FOUND..POLICEMAN BOYFRIEND ARRESTED, CHARGED WITH MURDER
After thousands of friends, neighbors and volunteers spent days searching for the missing pregnant mother in Canton, Ohio, police announced Saturday they had found her murdered body.. They also took Bobby Cutts, Jr. a police officer she had had a long time affair with into custody.  The police had searched the apartment of a friend of Cutts and apparently found evidence that she may have aided in the disposal of Jesse's body after Cutts had killed her at her home. A woman named Myisha Ferrell was also arrested last night and charged with obstruction of justice.  Jessee's two year old son who apparently witnessed the murder provided authorities with the first clues.."Mommy was crying. Mommy broke the table. Mommy's in rug," the boy had told them.

CHICAGO MAN CHARGED WITH MURDER OF WIFE, THREE CHILDREN IN SUV
After first saying he was not a suspect after finding a woman and three children shot to death on I-55 just south of Chicago, the father of the children was arrested on Saturday.  32 year old Christopher Vaughn, a "computer forsensic advisor" was charged with murdering his wife Kimberly Vaughn and their three children, Abigayle, 12, Cassandra, 11, and Blake, 8.  Vaughn had been found with a gunshot wound in his thigh and had been treated and released.  He was arrested just before the funerals of the three children on Saturday. The family had been in the Chicago area for only a year, moving from Washington state.


CHEMICAL ALI SENTENCED TO DEATH FOR GASSING TENS OF THOUSANDS OF KURDS
Ali Hassan al-Majid, known as "Chemical Ali" because he was behind the gassing of 180,000 Kurds in northern Iraq in the late 1980's has been sentenced to die by hanging for his crimes.  Ali claimed he was only following orders. As the sentence was handed out Kurds celebrated by bringing sheep to slaughter and using precious generator fuel to keep their televisions own to hear the verdict. Ali, a cousin of Saddam Hussein, and others charged in the operation were apparently unleashing the mass murders because they believed the Kurds had supported Iran during the 1980-88 Iran-Iraq war.

SENATE NOT GIVING UP ON ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION BILL..CRUCIAL VOTE THIS WEEK
After years of bringing the illegal immigration back to Congress, the Senate
is relentless in trying to get some plan passed this year.  60 votes are needed to pass and it is the Democrats and the White House against some Republican Senators who hear the public outcry against amnesty and a porous border that still has thousands entering the U.S. illegally.  President Bush, in his radio address Saturday said lawmakers should "summon the courage" to support the bill, explaining once again that "the status quo is unacceptable."  A bill last year was supposed to "tighten the borders," and build a fence but that plan apparantly
was not implemented.  Now, the new immigration bill promises to "tighten the borders," and create a guest worker program.  It would then lay out a way the 12 million people in the U.S. illegally could become citizens. Republican Senators want border security first, and amnesty, not at all.  "We know what they're against. What are they for?" asked Ted Kennedy on ABC news yesterday.



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AND EVEN MORE

Here's your Ugly Dog Contest Winner....but can you dig that tongue!


Elwood is a 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix who was crowned "The World's Ugliest Dog" on Friday.  Elwood's owner, Karen quigley of Sewell, New Jersey says she thinks he's the cutest thing that ever lived!  Elwood was rescued by Quigley two years ago from a breeder who was going to euthanize him because she thought he was too ugly to sell.  Besides the title and all the attention that brings, the crown comes with a $1,000 prize for his owner.

THIS IS 4REAL
A judge has ruled that a New Zealand couple may not name their new son, '4real'.  Pat and Sheena Wheaton decided on the name after seeing him on the ultrasound for the first time, and said to each other, "Is this for real?"  New Zealand law requires all children to be registered within two months of birth and the name was kicked out of the system because no name can begin with a number.   The parents and the state are in negotiations over the name and the baby will be registered as 'Real' if no compromise is reached.

In the meantime, naming your child anything you want in England is not an issue.  Maria Brown and her husband are boxing fanatics and decided to honor their favorite boxers by installing them as middle names for their new daughter, Autumn....Twenty-five of them, to be exact.  Her full legal name is: Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.   The 33-year-old mother says she hopes her daughter will grow up with a good sense of humor about her name. 

I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO PARK
A motorist who ran over two dozen cars and hit two people during a wild driving spree was charged with drunken driving and hit-and-run. David Wecksler, 31, of Long Beach, was charged Friday in connection with the damage spread over several blocks.  According to a police report, Wecksler told officers he had been drinking while playing poker with some friends but contended a blown tire caused him to lose control of the car. Wecksler also complained that he could not see after the hood of his car popped up. Wecksler was asked why he didn't stop after the first crash and replied, "I was trying to find a place to park."


FYI - Cool
 EFIJY / AAP

Holden's Efijy hotrod, a 21st century version of the Australian FJ Holden,
was named the U.S. concept car of the year Friday at the Automotive Hall of Fame in Dearborn, Michigan.   The car was chosen from 33 concept vehicles and 11 production preview models.

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HOLLYSTAR LATE NIGHT UPDATE

TOP OF THE BOX FOR JUNE 22-24, 2007

1  - Evan Almighty  $32,112,000
2  - 1408  $20,175,000
3  1 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer $20,150,000
4  2 Ocean's Thirteen  $11,345,000
5  3 Knocked Up $10,636,000
6  4 Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End  $7,215,000
7  5 Surf's Up  $6,700,000
8  6 Shrek the Third  $5,754,000
9  7 Nancy Drew $4,505,000
10 - A Mighty Heart $4,006,000


The LA County Sheriff's Department announced on Friday that Paris Hilton will be released from jail on Tuesday...no set time was announced.  Her original sentence was 45 days but it is standard procedure to do an early release with time off for good behavior..Tuesday will be Paris's 24th day in incarceration. Actually, she has spent more time in jail than the average person on first time probation violation charges.

In the meantime, after a bidding war with the big three networks backfired,  it appears that Larry King is the only show Paris will appear on once she is released from jail...and she'll be doing it for free! CNN has announced the interview is set for June 27th.

Eddie Murphy said he wanted a paternity test, and he got one.  After months of denying being the father of ex-girlfriend Melanie Brown's daughter, the Dreamgirls star has been genetically matched to two-month-old, Angel Iris Murphy Brown, born on June 11th. The former Spice Girl has long maintained that Murphy was not only the father of her child, but that the pregnancy was actually planned while Brown and Murphy were a couple last fall.

According to the New York Post, Vincent Curatola, who played New York mob boss Johnny "Sack"  on The Sopranos, wasn't the Clinton's first choice to play the mobster on their Soprano's finale style video.  They originally had asked Steven Van Zandt, who played Silvio on the program,
turned down the role because he's backing Senator Barack Obama.

 
England's Prince William and his former girlfriend, Kate Middleton, have reportedly gotten back together.  The British Press is reporting  the two have been going on a series of low key dates together.    The two attended a party together earlier this month and Kate will be attending the Princess Diana memorial with the prince. 

Things are going great for Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey who have been dating now for over a year.   The two told People Magazine that they will
not be getting married anytime soon and wanted to model their relatioship on the one by Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell who have been together for
decades without getting married.   The couple attended the opening
of the "Ripley's Believe It Or Not!" Times Square Odditorium in New York City.   McCarthy and Carrey are both parents: He has a 19-year-old daughter, Jane, and she's mom to 5-year-old Evan Joseph.

Photo DAVE2According to a new, unauthorized bio of e band, Van Halen, lead singer, David Lee Roth offered a cash prize to the roadie who could get him the hottest chick of the night.   Roth would "distribute laminated backstage passes to the security staff - each marked with the staffer's initials."  Ian Christe writes in "Everybody Wants Some: The Van Halen Saga," due out in August  "That  from the stage, Roth would call out, 'Blonde, pink top, sector A-4 high," ' pointing out the girls he wanted to see after the show.   The next morning, Dave, seeing whose pass she was wearing, would give that crew member a $100 bucks.  Evidently, it was a real moral booster for the crew...

(The practice made the girls hookers without even knowing or benefitting from it...)

Today's complete Hollystar at
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WEATHER

Some rain along the south Texas gulf..heavy rain in eastern Montana and
some scattered rain in Washington state and Idaho..rain in a small area of
north central Virginia..By midday rain will spread across the entire
southeast third of the nation and will spread up into Ohio, Pennsylvania
and New York state as well..The line will begin across much of Texas and
Oklahoma.. That rain will continue into the evening...Coolest in the
northwest where Seattle will stay at 69..Boise at 75...mountain states are
hot...Denver will have a high of 98..88 in Salt Lake.. 93 in
Minneapolis...but mid to upper 80s across to the northeast..80s in the mid
Atlantic..mostly low 90s in the southeast..80s in Texas but 90s and triple
digits in the rest of the southwest..El Paso up to 102, 109 in Phoenix..104
in Vegas..70s down the west coast..80s in the center of the U.S....
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SPOTLIGHT ON

STEVE CARELL

Born August 16, 1962 in  Concord, Massachusetts. His family was traditional Italian.  He attended an all boys private school in Concord..after 
high school he went to Denison University in Granville, Ohio where he
graduated.  He then moved to Chicago where he studied with the Second City troupe.  His first movie was Curly Sue in 1991.  From 1990-1996 he worked with Second City and taught improvisational comedy. He then wrote for the Dana Carvey show and finally landed a job as a correspondent on The Daily Show.  The movie that brought him to the forefront was Bruce Almighty in 2003. He was in Anchorman: THe Legend of Ron Burgundy, Sleepover and Melinda and Melinda in 2004. He followed with Bewitched and The 40 Year Old Virgin in 2005.  Then he smashed again with Little Miss Sunshine in 2006. Now, he stars in Evan Almighty.  He has several movie projects coming up..
He has completed Dan in Real Life and is currently filming Get Smart where
he will play Maxwell Smart.  He will also do a voice in Horton Gets a Who
and has announced he'll be in High T in 2009. Steve has also starred in the TV sitcom The Office since 2005...he was in three failed sitcoms before The Office finally hit.  Steve met Nancy Walls when she was a student in an
improv class at Second City and they married in 1995 and now live in Los
Angeles. She also had a stint on The Daily Show when Steve was there.  They have two children, now 6 and 3.

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TV LAST NIGHT

(We watched TV for you last night)

The Simpsons, Extreme Makeover and Desperate Housewives continue to be repeats.   Summer programming gets into full swing by mid July.

THE NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR (Food Network)

The difference between this show and Top Chef is that the people on
Food Network are vying for their own show on the Food Network, so they must be attractive, show personality and be able to make presentations as well as cook.

The remaining six chefs are taken to Fort Dix where they will face two
challenges.  The first, to take an MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) and using items found in the pantry, make them more interesting.  They have 20 minutes to creative and 1 minute to sell their meal.    Adrian had the least flavorful
improvement, while Jag didn't do well in his presentation.  Winning both creativity and presentation was Paul.

Paula Dean arrives and tells them they have to prepare a meal to 75 hungry troops.   She tells them they will, in teams of two, create a main dish of either meatloaf, chicken pot pie or lasagna along with a side dish and dessert.

Since Paul won the previous challenge, he not only got to choose his partner and what they will be preparing, but designate the other teams and assign their main dishes.

Paul picks Jag as his partner and take meatloaf.  They add mashed sweet potatos w/rum apple slices and a cobbler for dessert.

Rory and Amy get Lasagna.  they team it up with garlic bread, a salad and shortbread...Michael and Aidrian get chicken pot pie.  They add steam veggies and fruit with whipped cream.

When the oven doesn't work properly, Jag decides to take their meatloaf
and deep fry it.  Paul is beside himself with the deep frying bit, but they don't have much choice.

Rory and Amy present their lasagna and they are sort of flirty and goofy in front of the soldiers.   Michael and Adrian present their chicken pot pie with potato chips on top instead of a crust.  Paul and Jag do pushups and Jag admits being a Marine.  

The troops dig into all the dishes and fill out comment cards on both the food and the presentation.

Believe it or not, the deep fried meatloaf was the group favorite, (also #1 presentation) followed by the chicken pot pie and then lasagna (cheese was barely melted let along brown and crispy)  However, Amy and Rory out shined Michael and Adrian in presentation.
Going home:  Michael Salmon from New York

Michael Salmon
Buh, bye....

-

CROSSROADS (CMT)



Kelly Clarkson performed with Reba McEntire for a performance at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville.   On the playlist was “Walk Away,” “Why Haven't I Heard from You,” “Since You've Been Gone” and “Fancy.” Also, Reba's “Because of You.”   Kelly talks about what it means to perform with Reba, HER idol and blah, blah, blah, Kelly is great says Reba...

-
HANNAH MONTANA (Disney Channel)




Miley Stewart (Miley Cyrus) is your average girl but she is secretly the teen rock singer, Hanah Montana.  She moved  from Tennessee to Malibu, California and is trying to live a normal life.  Her dad & manager is Robbie Ray Stewart (Billy Ray Cyrus), her weird brother Jackson Stewart, her two friends Lilly  & Oliver Oken.

Teen movie heart throb, Jake, falls for Miley and does everything he can do to win her heart.  He parachutes in a tux and presents her with a rose, he sends her hundreds of baskets of muffins and meats and dresses as an armored knight.   She throws him out, but when Jake appears on the red carpet for his new movie, he tells a reporter that he's in love with Miley Stewart and the woman he's pretending to the press to be involved with is just a friend.   (Have you done anything outrageous to impress the object of your desire?)

Miley melts and the two hit it off.   As the episode continues, he tells her that his real name is not Jake, but Leslie.  She tells him that she's really Hannah Montana.    Jake and Miley are mobbed everywhere they go, so Jake dons a disguise and tries to be a normal guy.  Everyone is surprised how impatient he is when he has to wait in line and/or gets treated like a normal person. 

After a while, Miley finds out there's not too much of a real person in Jake and she tries to break up with him by embarrassing him on the red carpet for his new movie.  She snorts, spits, wears Bjork's swan outfit and displays 10 inch long underarm hair.  

Jake believes that Miley is just trying to steal his limelight.   They end up talking and agree to be friends and to keep each other's secrets.

Some of the props appear on the show more than Billy Ray....he's there mostly to prove that this sassy, smart, teen doesn't live all by herself.


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TV TONIGHT

TENNIS 8am (ESPN2)
Wimbledon coverage

THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE 8:30pm (CBS)
The tuition at Ritchie's school have gone up. She and Richard brainstorm ways to cut corners to keep him enrolled.

HISTORY DETECTIVES 9pm (PBS)
In this series' fifth-season premiere, the hosts research the history-making stories behind items brought to their attention by ordinary folks. Objects include a portable screen that may have helped resolve the Cuban Missile Crisis, a potentially rare recording of the old "Amos 'n' Andy" radio show and a painting tied to a major women's suffrage rally.

SUPERNANNY 10pm (ABC)
A single mother of four nursed her second son through leukemia and became a widow shortly afterward. Now the two older boys, 11 and 8, are out of control, and the younger kids, 3 and 1, are starting to emulate them.

EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS 8pm (CW)
Neighborhood crook, Malvo, robs the store while Chris is watching the register, and Chris won't tell Doc who did it because he's afraid of what Malvo will do to him so Doc fires him.

GIL. POSITIVE 9pm (LIFETIME)
A teenager learns that a deceased schoolmate with whom she once had unprotected sex was HIV-positive. A visit to the AIDS clinic reveals the worst, but she finds support from a substitute teacher who turns out to have been living with HIV for years.

CSI: MIAMI 10pm (CBS)
Detective Tripp is investigating a Cuban refugee's death by land mine when he steps on one himself.

******************
LATE NIGHT TALKERS
******************

Jimmy Kimmel - Ozzy Osbourne (who also performs); Samantha Harris
David Letterman - Bruce Willis; Tony Parker.
Craig Ferguson - Wanda Sykes; Tim Spall; Ben Kweller.
Jay Leno - John and Elizabeth Edwards; Maz Jobrani and musical guest the  Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Conan O'Brien - Drew Barrymore; Marc Maron; the Apples in Stereo.

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WEBSITE OF THE DAY

AMERICA'S BEST RESTROOM
http://www.bestrestrooms.com/

The nominations have been narrowed to five.  Check out
the nominees and place your vote.

NYMBLER
http://www.nymbler.com/nymbler/find-names.php
Choose names you like for inspiration, then let the site
come up with unique names for your new little one.

WIMBLEDON
http://www.wimbledon.org/en_GB/index.html
Everything you could possibly want to know about this
famous annual tournament

HISTORY OF THE PINK LAWN FLAMINGO
http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/pink_flamingo/index.html
Celebrating its 50th birthday this week...


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TRIVIA

Wimbledon tennis tournament starts today in Great Britain...
The oldest organized tennis tournament in the world...

What is unique about the court surface at Wimbledon?
It's grass...(the only major tournament played on grass)
The grass is 70% rye and 30% red fescue.

Whose mother was very proud when he became Wimbledon Champ at
only 17? Boris Becker

How many times did Bjorn Borg win Wimbledon (5)

What fruit dish is famous for being eaten at Wimbeldon?
strawberries and cream
(Approximately 62,000 pounds of strawberries and 1,540 gallons of cream are sold each year during the Championships.)

Who was the last British Woman to win Wimbledon?
A: Virginia Wade 1977.

Winner of most Gentlemen's Singles titles?
William Renshaw Pete Sampras 7

Q: For what sport was England's Wimbledon Tennis complex designed?
A: Croquet (The All England Croquet Club first set aside a lawn for
   tennis in 1875)

There are 20 grass courts at Wimbledon...What is the main court called?
Centre Court

Other important courts are Court 1 and Court 2..what is the nickname for Court 2?  The Graveyard

They began using yellow balls in 1986..why?
They show up better on television

Much more at http://www.wimbledontennis.co.uk/facts.htm

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PHONER


Monday morning Sob Story...Got a big prize here for the biggest Sob Story to start the week...

-------

Take My Kids to Work Day to honor stay at home moms..which brings up a couple of phoners...

First..different ideas that stay at home moms can share on how to make extra money at home...some pretty creative ideas expected and others that will say, "Who has time to do anything else other than take care of the house and the kids?"

Secondly....How much do you think a housewife/homemaker/stay at home mom is worth??  80 grand....100 grand....How about 30 grand!!  You mean a 24 hour a day/365 day a year job is only worth 30 grand....that's like a dollar a day!!
Open the phones, on this....IT will get them going....What other jobs out
there are under paid....Who's over paid....What do you think a
fireman/military/chef/baseball player should make??

(The average CEO of a Fortune 500 company makes well over $10 million a year..how does this compare?)

------

The American Society of Addiction Medicine announced yesterday that their latest studies show that video games addiction is not a mental disorder in the same league with alcoholism and other diseases....Are you addicted to video games?...Do you know someone..young person or older who you believe is addicted?  What else are you addicted to...something that no matter how bad it might be you have to have it!

------

Supposedly, Paris Hilton isn't going to get the big bucks for her first interview after she gets out of jail..but something's suspect that she choice Larry King to do the first TV conversation.  The numbers being brandied by NBC were a million dollars ...

Would you...spend 25 days in jail for a million dollars?

and..while we're on the would you's...as in the movie 1408...if you checked into a hotel and the guy behind the desk told you the only room left was one where several people had been killed..would you stay in the room or try to find another hotel?  What if you had already checked and you knew it was the very last room in town...would you take the room?

------

Talk About Fricken Rude.....

   ---People who come to your house, grab the remote control and start changing channels.

----People who blurt out the punch line to your joke halfway through.

------People who will tell you what they paid for something

-----People who can tell you're eating dinner, but still won't get off the phone.

Can you add to the list?

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ON THE STREET

Today is Please Take My Kids to Work Day (but we're going to call it "Week") to honor stay at home moms...A trivia statement said that the average stay at home moms walk about 10 miles a day....So we're going to get an average stay at home mom to wear a wrist pedometer to see if this is true...meanwhile, as a control, we're going to get one for Stunt Boy and see how he compares in a typical day...

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Want to encorage your listeners to contribute. We came up with a "Caller of the Day" T-shirt. It's a rat fink rip off with the creature oming out of the top of a hot rod and a Cell phone in his hand.
Make us laugh and you win one, ask for one and you get shot.

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LISTS

Forbes Magazine has just released it's list of America's Most Loved Advertising Icons...

 1. M&M's
 2. Aflac Duck
 3. Geico Gecko
 4. Tony the Tiger
 5. Pillsbury Doughboy
 6. Energizer Bunny
 7. Geico Caveman
 8. Trix Rabbit
 9. Chester Cheetah (Cheetos)
10. Snap, Crackle and Pop (Rice Krispies)



Great list today called the
10 Most Bizarre Beers ..

Published at http://www.oddee.com/item_86745.aspx

Here's the quick version

1.  Beer for Dogs..Kwispelbier..non alcohol but made for dogs..
2.  Duff Beer..of course you know about this..Homer Simpson's favorite is now actually being made..
3.  Bilk...beer and milk..with fruity flavor marketed to womem
4.  Beer for the blind..Dusseldorf's Uerige beer..with a new brailled label..
5.  Champagne Beer...part champagne, part beer..supposedly very good
6.  Pizza Beer..Mama Mia Pizza beer..beer with tomatoes, garlic, basil and oregano..uggh! (same company also making salsa beer, curry beer and oatmeal raisin cookie beer..double uggh!
7.  Beer for kids..Kidsbeer...let's get those little tykes headed toward alchoholism early...
8.  Vitamin Enhanced Beer...Stampede Beer..vitamin B, folic acid and more...
9.  Free Beer..as in "open source" but it's not really free..recipe and how to make it is published
10. And what would be my favorite if I drank beer...WORLD'S STRONGEST BEER..25% alcohol..$110 a bottle..It's called Samuel Adams Utopias..drink it slowly they advise..

------

The Insurance Institute
released its list of 10 Safest Cars
and hence, lowest price for insurance...

Acura RDX
Audi A4
Audi A6
Honda CR-V
Honda Pilot
Entourage
MB M-Class
Subaru Tribeca
Subaru Forester
Volvo XC90

------

10 Ways to Avoid Speeding Tickets By Eric Peters, Aol Autos

http://autos.aol.com/article/general/v2/_a/how-to-avoid-a-speeding-ticket/20070621101709990001


People who get tickets for speeding are often guilty of more than simply
driving faster than the posted limit. Their chief offense? Getting noticed
in the first place. That's the first domino to fall in the ugly chain of
events that leads to a piece of "payin' paper."

Here are some common sense ways to run under the radar -- literally:

1. Drive within 5-10 mph of surrounding traffic.
2. Try to stay in the middle of the pack. If you're the lead car, logic says
you'll be the first car to run past any radar trap up ahead.
3. Find a "rabbit."..a fast driver you can follow 50 to 100 yards back..logic
   is he'll get caught first..
4. Don't change lanes frequently..don't tailgate or drive aggressively
5. Avoid the far left fast lane..cops look there first...
6. Watch for cut outs..cops hide there..
7. Don't speed when you're the only car on the road..and never speed at night...and never speed through small towns..
8. If it's not illegal get a radar detector..
9. Drive a non descrcript vehicle..red or gold sports cars get it first..

The worst possible thing you can do is combine all the no-no's listed above by driving a flashy car too fast, late at night when you're the only car on the road while looking like you just robbed a bank.

If you do that, expect a ticket. And expect no mercy.
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MIND BENDER

A study conducted by Irish plastic surgeons suggests that men are the
victims of this 12 times more then women are....

Answer:

Human bites

86% of the bite victims had been drinking at the time they were wounded. 70% of the bites occurred on a weekend or a holiday;
70% of the bites were to the face
47% of those treated failed to return for follow-up care

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NEWS N STUFF

CALLING ALL EXRAORDINARY PETS AND PEOPLE!

The ASPCA(R) (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) is inviting the public to nominate extraordinary pets and people for its annual Humane Awards.

Those who may be considered for this distinguished and unique honor include humans who have worked on behalf of animal welfare and animals who have engaged in acts of heroism in the United States during the past year. Winners will be invited to attend the Humane Awards Luncheon in New York City where the awards will be presented.

Categories open for nominations include:

- ASPCA Dog of the Year (for a dog who has performed a heroic act in the past year).

- ASPCA Cat of the Year (for a cat who has performed a heroic act in the past year).

- ASPCA Kid of the Year (for a child under 14 who has rescued an animal or helps  make the world a kinder place for animals).

- ASPCA Law Enforcement Officer of the Year (for a member of the municipal police  force (or other public service officer) who has made a heroic effort to save an animal in the past year).

- ASPCA Fireman of the Year (for a municipal firefighter who has made a heroic effort   to save an animal in the past year).

Nominations should be submitted via the ASPCA Web site (www.aspca.org/nominate).
Included on the submission form should be the nominee's name, street address, email address, and telephone number; the category for which he/she is being nominated; and a short statement (75 words or less) of why the nominator thinks this person or pet deserves the award.

Deadline for entries is Wednesday, August 15, at 12 PM noon (EST). Winners will be chosen by a committee selected by the ASPCA.

CONTACT: Marie-Adele Moniot of the ASPCA, +1-212-876-7700 ext. 4572 or marieadelem@aspca.org

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JOKE TO GO

A 71-year-old man became the oldest person to scale Mt. Everest. It was great, he stood at the summit and shouted out to the world; “You punks get off my lawn.” (Alex Kaseberg)

During her time in Jail, Paris Hilton read the bible and said that her favorite part was the "parable of the talents" where Jesus teaches you to exploit your talent wisely. That is why as soon she leaves jail she is going to shoot another porn movie. (Pedro Bartes)


No longer Jealous

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry.. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me, before my surgery."

-------

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"




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