(c) 2007 New Radio Star, INC.

Final update at 11:42pm PDT

We begin with the top four headline stories...

WWF wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife, Nancy in their upstairs
bedroom, then suffocated his 7 year old son, and finally hanged himself in
his weight room.  Police offered no motive for the killings, but said they
found anabolic steroids in the house and are trying to determine if the
steroids caused Benoit to become "unhinged."  Nancy was killed Saturday
morning..she was found in an upstairs bedroom with her feet and hands bound..there was blood underneath her indicating a struggle.  The 7 year old boy, Daniel was killed late Saturday.  He was found in his bed dead of suffocation. Benoit hung himself a day later.  A closed Bible was placed next to the bodies of the wife and son.

If the high price of gasoline wasn't enough, now the battle to switch to
alternative fuels has shot food costs sky high as well.  Today, with interest
rates high, the Federal Reserve will meet and announce what they are going
to do.  It all has to do with inflation.  In the past, the Fed ignored energy
and food costs and concentrated on the "core." But, now those two areas are so much a part of the consumer budgets they are being figured into inflation. Corn used for alternative fuels have affected many food areas...meat, dairy, cereal, cheese for pizzas..engery prices are up 4.7% and food prices up 3.9% in the past 12 months...the Fed could even raise rates today.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has ordered Foreign Tire Sales of Union, New Jersey to recall some 450,000 tires.  The tires came from Hangzhou Zhongce Rubber company of Hangzou, China.  After numerous reports of tread separation it was discovered that some of the tires were made without a required safety feature called a gum strip.  The strip helps bind the belts of a tire to each other.  The NHTSA said that other tried has a gum strip about half the .6 millimeter wide that is required.  The Chinese tires were sold in the U.S. under the brand names Westlake, Compass, Telluride and YKS.  FTS is suing Hangzou in federal court in Newark, New Jersey.

After 15 years of various requests to disclose actitivities of the 1950's
through 1970's the CIA finally released formerly classified documents
yesterday.  It shows how the CIA tried to get the mafia to kill Fidel
Castro, for example.  The documents, known as the "Family Jewels" also show the CIA collected files on almost 10,000 Americans that were active in the anti-war movement against the Viet Nam war..how they carried out "behavior modification" experiments on unwitting citizens giving them LSD and other hallucinogenins to observe their reactions..spied on colmnists such as Washington Post's Jack Anderson and three of his researchers, including Brit Hume, now a Fox TV news anchor..in order to find out the sources of information for columns..planned to assasinate Congolese leader Patrice Lumumba and Dominican Republic leader Rafael Trujillo..both killed in 1961..the list goes on...One head of a U.S. government watch dog group said..The CIA should not get off as easily as just revealing their illegal activies..."The CIA cannot be allowed to simply walk away from its skeletons," he said. "Especially when some of those skeletons, like warrantless wiretapping, are alive and walking around today."

Two Orange County parents face child abuse charges after riding the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride at Walt Disney World , with their toddler left in a stroller in the sun for about 45 minutes.  Authorities said concerned passers-by moved the sleeping girl's stroller out of direct sunlight Monday and into some shade and called for help.   The parents told investigators they accidentally left the 3-year-old girl in the stroller on Saturday afternoon.  They were with a group of other adults and children, and each parent thought the other had the girl.  According to the Orange County Sheriff's Office, the girl was found in the sun, turning red, covered in sweat and nearly lifeless. Paramedics revived the girl after taking her indoors and giving her water.  Their children have been turned over to relatives while the Department of Children and Families investigates.

According to a new study here in the U.S., too much personal talk by doctors can be hazardous to your health!   Researchers sent actors, posing as new patients to see doctors in secretly recorded visits.  It was found that 34% of doctors often wasted the precious few minutes they have for visits by talking about themselves and their own health problems, politics and their families.   Dr. Howard Beckman, a medical professor at the University of Rochester in Rochester, New York, said that what he's learned from working on this studay is when he's thinking of talking about himself, he probably needed to be askig the patient more about their experience.

85% of the personal disclosures by the doctors were deemed by the researchers to be useless to the patient -- not providing, for example, education, support or explanation or prompting helpful patient information.

79% of instances when the doctor engaged in this personal talk, the conversation never returned to the topic the patient was discussing before the doctor began yakking.

11% of the time, what the doctor said was considered disruptive, including times saying things that seemed to compete with the patient or expressing personal political views.

Parents and politicians alike are upset over exercises being taught at school such as role playing games taught to  children on how to pick up a gay partner. The Regional Institute for School and Media in Berlin has introduced the controversial exercises for school kids starting at age 14 as part of a way of reducing prejudice against homosexuals.


1Mary J. Blige was honored with the ASCAP Voice Of Music Award in Los Angeles on Monday. The 20th Anniversary ASCAP Rhythm And Soul Music Awards also honored
Johnta Austin and and Jermaine Dupri, who shared the night's coveted Songwriter Of The Year title with Blige.

This photo of Rosie O'Donnell's daughter, Vivi, is causing a stir even among her supporters.   Wearing a bullet belt is disturbing, they say.
What do you think?

In an e-mail to The ShowBuzz, she said:

"They don't watch TV – this is how they play/the boys had fatigues and were playing war/the girls wanted some/they run around the house with water guns/shooting each other."

"It's fascinating to me/that an image of a child dressed up as a soldier/evokes so much attention/yet the real soldiers – their deaths – their wounded bodies/doesn't seem to faze most/or make news," she added.

Gorgeous season four "Dancing with the Stars" champ, Apolo Ohno, will join the live summer dance tour in five select ciies. "After the show I started training again for the Olympics but realized quickly that I couldn't go on without at least one more week of Samba," Ohno, 25, said in a statement. His appearances on the tour will  start in Raleigh, N.C., on Saturday. He'll also show up in Hershey, Pa., on July 2; Bridgeport, Conn., on July 3; Wilkes Barre, Pa., on July 5 and Atlantic City, NJ, on July 6. 6th. Other stars who are currently on the Dancing tour include, Joey McIntyre, Joey Lawrence, Drew Lachey and Joey Fatone.

Paris Hilton, now 7 pounds lighter than when she went to jail just over three weeks ago is hanging at her grandparent's house in ritzy Holmby Hills north of Sunset Boulevard...That didn't keep a crowd of reporters staked out at Paris' own house from irritating neighbors as they tried to get in and out of their driveways..Paris does the Larry King interview tonight...Just before Paris' release her attorney Richrd Hutton slipped a piece of paper to Harvey Levin, managing editor of the celebrity news site TMZ.com...the note included a penciled sketh of Paris in front of cell doors in the Lynwood jail and it thanked Harvey for his "fair and unbiased reporting of the events in my case."
It was signed Paris Hilton with a heart over the i...aww.there's such love
in Hollywood...

And speaking of TMZ...Harvey obtained the invoice for Paris spending at the prison canteen while she was there..mmm.. yummy.. instant coffee, fruit juice mix..instant chicken noodle soup...her bill for the week was at $145...
Click here to read the entire PDF list from TMZ

Wow..the tense results are finally in...Carrie Underwood and Kevin Eubanks have been named the "world's sexiest vegetarians" in PETA's annual contest....Carrie grew up on a farm!..Wonder if her family has disowned her?....Runners up in the "contest" included Joaquin Phoenix, Milo Ventimiglia, Kristen Bell, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jared Leto and Lisa Edelstein...By the way, Jay Leno campaigned for viewers to go to the website and vote for Kevin...

CNN's Nancy Grace revealed to the New York Post that she was secretly

married in April and is expecting twins in January...Grace wed David Linch, an Atlanta investment banker who she has known since their days at Mercer College in the late 1970s, according to the Post story...Oh god..can you imagine the grilling David will get when he screws up?....

Oh how the mighty have fallen...53 year old Lou Pearlman, the creator of the Backstreet Boys  and 'N Sync was arrested in Guam after being thrown out of Indonesia and now U.S. marshals have him back in the U.S. Pearlman, once one of the most powerful people in the music industry must now face bank fraud charges...He is accused of obtaingin about $20 million in loans using bogus financial documents from a fake accounting firm..he also will face a number of civil suits..his assets have been liquidated in two bankruptcy cases..


Poor Oklahoma and central Texas continue to get pounded by heavy rain this morning..some concern for thunderstorms also..that rain will also move into southeast Kansas as well...rain in southern Indiana and central Ohio by midday...By tonight the rain will spread from Oklahoma, Texas, Kansas all the way to Michigan and across to New York state, down the coast to northern Florida and across Alabama and Mississippi.  Seattle will only get up to 73..San Francisco 68..72 on the coast in Los Angeles as the fog comes back..Minot, North Dakota's high will be 67..but into the 80s in the rest of the north central and 90s in the northeast..
Boston up to 92..90s in the mid Atlantic and the southeast..70s and 80s in the center of the U.S....80s in Texas but 90s in the rest of the southwest..Phoenix will have a high of 111, 105 in Vegas..80s and 90s in the mountain states.



Born March 6, 1972 in Newark, New Jersey, he was the first son of
Lucille O'Neal, who gave him the name Shaquille Rashaun, which in
Islamic means little warrior." Says Shaq with a smile, "I was never
little, but I was always a warrior." His biological father left soon
after he was born and for the next year Shaq was raised by his mother
and her relatives. Living in the Newark projects, they struggled to
make ends meet aided by food stamps. His mother then married Philip
Harrison, who Shaq considers his father. To help his family escape the
blighted, crime-ridden inner city, Harrison joined the Army in 1974,
eventually rising to the rank of sergeant. In addition, he took on as
many as three part-time jobs to support Shaq and Shaq's younger
brother Jamal and younger sisters Lateefah and Ayesha.

In the sixth grade, they were assigned to a military base in West
Germany, an experience Shaq hated and which incited youthful
rebellion. In his second year of high school, they returned to the
U.S., to Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio. At age 13 Shaq was already 6 feet, 6 inches tall and weighed 224 pounds..while in high school in San Antonio he led Robert G. Cole high school to a state championship
and a 68-1 record...Dale Brown, coach at LSU had seen Shaq play junior high ball while his dad was stationed in Germany and offered him a scholarship.  Shaq majored in business and played basketball for Brown.  Shaq was a two time first team All American and National Player of the Year in 1991..He left LSU early to go pro, drafted by the Orlando Magic as their first pick in 1992..Shaq returned to LSU and got his bachelor's degree and later got his Masters from the University of Phoenix. Shaq was
rookie of the year in 1993..His scoring, blocking and rebounding accomplishments are too numerous to list here..In 1996 he moved to the Los Angeles Lakers and the Lakers won three consecutive national championships..2000, 2001, 2002...In 2004 the Lakers traded him to the Miami Heat. The Heat won the national championship in 2006

Despite so much change, there was one constant in Shaq's life-rap. "I have a love for rap," he says. Signed to Jive Records, O'Neal made his solo alum premiere with Shaq Diesel in 1993, and he has made several albums since..

Shaq has appeared in many commercials and had spots in movies (as himself)..most recently The Kid and I in 2005 and Scary Movie 4 in 2006.

He married Shaunie Nelson in 2002 and they have four children. Shaq also has an 11 year old daughter by ex-girlfriend Arnetta Yardbourgh.


(We watched TV for you last night)


More people show off their talent...in New York.

They call her a target girl and this young woman likes being the one that her partner throws knives, machetes and axes at.  Not many people do it.
If you're like I am, you say, yeah, it's a trick and the knives come from behind the wall.  It doesn't appear so in this act.  The target girl used a
knife of her own to intercept some of those thrown at her.  They're
going to Vegas.

"Three Redneck Tenors"   They come on stage dressed as stereotypical backwoods hicks, but they sing classical music and are not bad...The judges enjoy the act and put them through to Vegas.

That guy is back....Leonid.  He's that really tall guy who speaks with an accent and did balancing acts.  He's back and as bad as ever dressed as some Roman warrier who takes on a couple of women dressed in S&M gear.    Hasselhoff says if Leonid goes thru to Vegas, he'll quit the show.
Of course, Sharon and Piers love him and we see the show turn into a
Jerry Springer show with the cameras following a disgusted David Hasselhoff as he leaves the set and goes to his dressing room.   He finally
returns after the crowd shouts his name.  He takes a victory lap thru
the audience and gets back to work.  He probably just had to pee.

A 14 year old  girl named Julienne wants to be a country singer in the worst way.   She's got a good start, but nothing extraordiinary.  Piers thinks she's got "one hell of a voice."   Hoff says she's raw and can be
honed.   Sharon tells her to find her own style.  They ask her to come to Vegas.

Jay Green is a senior citizen juggler.  His assistant, a 70something, dances around the stage.  Jay drops a few things, juggles with fire but nobody is impressed with the act. 

A guy named Thoth, came on stage wearing a loin cloth, a tall head gear and mocassins with bells.  He played violin and sang (wailed) in "a language he made up." while dancing around the stage.

"Grandfather and Sage" is an act where a 7 year old and his grandpa sing and play (on keyboard) old time songs together.   It's cute.  Hoff likes it but Piers says the act isn't up to a million dollar payoff.   Hoff says yes to the kid, Piers says no and Sharon after talking to Sage, decides to put him through. 

Also getting thru were "The Glamazons" four very plus size women, dressed in lingerie singing "Lady Marmalade."  Piers said he likes curvier women and was indeed enthralled.  Hoff called them plus sized pussy cat dolls and Sharon gave them credit for breaking the mold. 

My favorite was a bunny who hopped on stage, climbed up a stool and stood and "talked" into the microphone while his owner stood off stage and told jokes in a gruff voice.   The idea was cute, the jokes not so much but they gave him a chance to improve.



Shaquille O'Neal is the 325-pound, 7-foot-1 center for the Miami Heat.  He
takes six overweight kids from Florida and will, over a series of programs, try to help them lose weight and gain confidence and self esteem. 

Shaq,  who has six children of his own, tends to be a bit of a show off but he's funny and charming enough to get away with it.   He encourages one overweight boy to cultivate a sense of humor to attract girls. When teased about your size, he says, try this...say,  “Yeah, I got a big stomach, but tell your girl to come rub on it.”

To Walter, who has had trouble with two bullies at school,  O’Neal says, “I want you to go punch both those boys right in the face.” And, flipping through an album of baby pictures with yet another boy, Mr. O’Neal says, “Look at you crying.” “Every baby cries, right?” Chris says. “I didn’t cry,”  the basketball star says.

At least he doesn't go all righteoous on the kids like the doctors and psychologists do...


2007 BET Awards Nominees & * Winners

Best Hip-Hop Artist
* T.I.
Lil Wayne

Best Male R&B Artist
* Ne-Yo
John Legend
Gerald Levert
Robin Thicke

Best Female R&B Artist
* Beyonce
Mary J. Blige
Jennifer Hudson
Corinne Bailey Rae

Best Gospel Artist
* Kirk Franklin
Shirley Caesar
Fred Hammond
Dave Hollister
Mary Mary

Best Collaboration
* Ludacris / Mary J. Blige - Runaway Love
Akon / Snoop Dog - I Wanna Love You
Beyonce / Jay Z - De'Ja'Vu
Beyonce / Jay Z - Upgrade U
Diddy / Keyshia Cole - Last Night

Best Group
* Gnarls Barkley
Mary Mary
Pretty Ricky
Three 6 Mafia

Video Of The Year

* Beyonce - Irreplaceable
Akon / Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Love You
Beyonce & Shakira - Beautiful Liar
Ciara - Like A Boy
Gnarls Barkely - Crazy

Best New Artist
* Jennifer Hudson
Lupe Fiasco
Gnarls Barkley
Corinne Bailey Rae

Best Actor
* Forest Whitaker
Idris Elba
Jamie Foxx
Eddie Murphy
Will Smith

Best Actress
* Jennifer Hudson
Tichina Arnold
Angela Bassett
Kerry Washington
Chandra Wilson

Best Male Athlete
* Lebron James
Reggie Bush
Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Dwayne Wade
Tiger Woods

Best Female Athlete
* Serena Williams

Swin Cash
Tamika Catchings
Gail Devers
Lisa Leslie

Lifetime Achievement Award
Diana Ross

Humanitarian Award
Don Cheadle


16 dancers perform for your votes

This show is a must-see.  Funny and it's amazing how many regular folks look like celebs.

What will those wack-jobs come up with next?

The Next Best Thing is funnier...

Deacon's son draws a picture of Arthur with crooked teeth, prompting Arthur to talk Doug and Carrie  into getting him braces.

Candidate Robert Leffingwell first must receive Senate approval, but he's got some serious skeletons in his closet. One senator ferrets out the truth and is put in the position of sacrificing himself to do the right thing.
CSI: NY  10pm (CBS)
Singer Nelly Furtado guest stars in this episode as a personal shoplifter. She's a hired set of sticky fingers, filching items for others. When a store security guard turns up dead, guess who's the prime suspect.

Johnny, Greta and Liza suspect Cliff's affair with Maria  gave him a motive to kill Eddie. But Johnny rethinks that after finding a video of Eddie kissing

Kate Jackson guest stars as Prentiss' mom, an ambassador, who seeks the Behavioral Analysis Unit's help in catching kidnappers. The victim, a Russian immigrant, is losing parts of his body with every ransom demand.

Paul Simon is a fitting recipient of the first Gershwin Prize honoring such
contributions. Art Garfunkel, Marc Anthony, Ladysmith Black Mambazo and other artists join him to celebrate.

This 1962 movie was quite daring for its time, dealing in lesbianism. Set in the 1930s, it stars Laurence Harvey as a drifter who finds his former sweetheart working in a New Orleans brothel whose madam has the hots for her. A very young Jane Fonda plays a girl he befriends on the road.


Jay Leno - Josh Duhamel. Jason Aldean performs.
Craig Ferguson - Mandy Moore; David Steinberg.
David Letterman - Claire Danes; Dan Patrick; Keith Olbermann;
                  Ryan Adams.
Conan O'Brien - Jim Carrey; Al Roker; Jonny Lives!
Jimmy Kimmel - Debra Messing; Justin Long, Kelly Rowland performs.


Shaq's big Challenge
Shaq's new show to help kids get in shape.  How do your kids measure up?  You can come to this website and take the test, the challenge and get tips on losing weight and improving health...pretty cool site



Find out how Criss Angel made a go-cart he was driving disappear

Top 10 celebrity plastic surgery addicts

The candidates for the 2008 election compete on American Idol


National Dairy Month

It takes 12 lbs. of milk to make just one gallon of ice cream.

The U.S. enjoys an average of 48 pints of ice cream per person, per year, more than any other country.

It takes an average of 50 licks to polish off a single-scoop ice cream cone

The biggest ice cream sundae in history was made in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, in 1988, and weighed in at over 24 tons.

One out of every five ice cream eaters share their treat with their pet.

Ice cream really took off during WWI after a newspaper quoted a German office
asserting, "We do not fea that nation of ice cream eaters."

Immigrants arriving to Ellis Island in the 1920s were given ice cream as part of a typical American menu.   Some new arrivals mistakenly spread this "frozen butter" on their bread.

More ice cream is sold on Sunday than any other day of week.

Children ages two through 12 and adults over age 45 eat the most ice cream.

The world's top 5 consumers of ice cream in order are: USA, New Zealand, Denmark, Australia, Belgium/Luxembourg

13% of men and 8% of women admit to licking their ice cream bowl clean

Approx 9% of milk produced by dairy farmers in the USA goes into producing ice cream.


Today is National Decide To Be Married Day

Is there anyone hearing our voice that has made the decision to pull
the trigger, pop the question, ask her for her hand? Admit it, she's
waiting on it... it's past due. You're getting the mike....well?.. Use the 9
o'clock hour today to pop the question. The prize? The morning show takes care of all costs. The Catch. You gotta pull the trigger this morning
on the air before 10am. Dare ya!

Nathan Clarke proposed to his lovely bride by spelling out "Christina, will y»
marry me?" in the father's wheat field. It took a week to do since it was 113 feet long. He then took her for a romantic plane ride and showed her his handywork. She said "Yes" and the rest is history. CREATIVE PROPOSAL STORIES? got one?

By the way...70% of people surveyed said it was acceptable for the woman to propose to the man?  How do you feel about that?  Anyone married because the woman proposed?  Anyone divorced and now regrets they said yes to her?

And, speaking of divorce..we never hear stories about creative ways to tell your partner you want a divorce...got one?


Amazing what lengths some people will go to, to find and retrieve a golf ball while out playing...loved the story yesterday of the golfer in Florida who put his arm into a pond to retrieve his ball and an 11 foot alligator came out of the water, grabbed his arm and drug him in..fortunately he fought off the gator with the other arm but he was injured (not the gator) and had to be taken to the hospital...Obviously the ball was a pro v one..Have you or someone you played with gone to ridiculous lengths to retrieve a ball?

Story at http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20070626/NEWS/706260302


10 years ago today Mike Tyson bit off part of the ear of Evander Holyfield in a title fight in Las Vegas...of course, we all remember it..not because of the fight...but because of the ear bite...What other sports moments in history do you remember because something weird happened? (like Bill Buckner in 1986 letting a slow roller go through his legs costing the Red Sox game 6 of the World Series....or that kid who interfered with a fly ball in the Cubs/Marlin game that so rattled the team they blew a three games to 1 lead and didn't make it into the World Series?)

Phone quickie.. What was the luckiest thing that ever
happened to you?   Great phones!


It's hot!

We hit 100 degrees yesterday and today...so this morning I sent a guy
out with cell phone and fried an egg on the street...just to see
if it worked....have the guy do mini reports from there every so often

Tied in with a local bottled water company and gave away 250 gallons
of water on the street corner.


Dare to Be Married Day

We sent Stunt Guy out on the street with phone in hand to propose to women heading to work. He brought a "sharpie" along to draw a ring on her finger if she accepts the proposal.


Today Forbe's released the

Best Cities for Young Professionals

compiled by tracking where the graduates of top universities across the
country ended up 10 years after commencement; where the best business
opportunities exist; which cities had the most young and unmarried people;
and which cities paid young professionals the best.

1.  New York City
2.  San Francisco
3.  Atlanta
4.  Los Angeles
5.  Washington, D.C.
6.  Boston
7.  Seattle
8.  Minneapolis
9.  Philadelphia
10. Denver


Popular Science magazine released a great list yesterday!...

Top 10 Worst Jobs in Science

10. Whale Feces Researcher-They scoop up whale dung, then dig through it for clues
9.  Forensic Entomologist-Solving murders by studying maggots
8.  Olympic Drug Tester-When your job is drug testing the world’s top athletes, there’s no way to win
7.  Gravity Research Subject-They are strapped down to see how many G's they can take for weeks on end
6.  Microsoft Security Grunt-Like wearing a big sign that reads "Hack Me"
5.  Coursework Carcass Preparer-They kill, pickle, and bottle the critters that schoolkids cut up
4.  Garbologist-Searches thousands of pounds of refuse to analyze consumption patterns and how waste breaks down
3.  Elephant Vasectomist-When your patient is Earth’s largest land animal, sterilization is a big job
2.  Oceanographer-Watching the fish disappear, coral reefs crumble, etc..nothing but bad news
1.  Hazmat Diver-They swim in sewage. Enough said. The worst was at a factory pig farm..(click below to read this sick story..)

Details at http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/0203101256a23110vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html


Israeli researchers say they have genetically engineered these to give hints of lemon and rose aromas that have done well in testing on volunteers.



Now why do I want a tomato that smells like a rose?  I got a rose for that.
I want a tomato that smells like a tomato!


'When Thunder Roars, Go Indoors'

NOAA's National Weather Service is making kids aware of the dangers of lightning by providing them with easy-to-remember safety tips through "Leon the Lightning Lion" during Lightning Awareness Week, June 24-30, 2007.

"Lightning is usually the most dangerous and frequently encountered weather hazard that people experience each year," said John Jensenius, warning coordination meteorologist with the National Weather Service. "Too often people wait too long before seeking safe shelter from a thunderstorm and find themselves caught outside in a very dangerous and sometimes deadly situation."

Jensenius has tracked statistics for 30 years which show that lightning remains the second greatest storm-related killer in the United States -- second only to flooding.

"Because lightning is such an underrated killer, NOAA's Lightning Safety Awareness team is constantly challenged to create new tools to help educate both children and adults about lightning and its dangers," said Jensenius, who was awarded the National Weather Association's 2005 Public Education Award and more recently, a Department of Commerce Silver Medal in 2006 for his work in lightning safety.

Leon's simple message, "When Thunder Roars, Go Indoors," could save a life. Leon explains that lightning can cause injury even before it starts to rain. As soon as you hear thunder, head for a house, school or large building. If caught outdoors, get in a car, truck or bus, but never under a tree. Stay off telephones, computers and video games.

CONTACT: Theresa Eisenman of NOAA, +1-301-713-0622, ext. 150


Short Story

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: The short story had to contain the following three things

1.  Religion 2. Sexuality 3. Mysterday

The only A+ grade in the class was given for the following short story

"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it."

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh
theater.  When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became impatient.  
"Sir, if you don't get up from  there I'm going to have to call the manager."  
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who
turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of
his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the
manager returned and stood over the man.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but
with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. 

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All
right buddy, what's your name?" 

"Sam," the man moaned. 

"Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied
"the balcony."

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